While February may have warmed up slightly (meaning from single digits into the twenties), the effects of the freezing weather are still being felt–though not seen–throughout Bushwick. And that feeling is the one of falling ass backwards on a pile of slick, frozen dog shit.
As we already know, the smell of the shit when it is first excreted is utterly debilitating. And yet, surprisingly, it’s almost preferable to having to endure the unexpected slippage that can attack without warning and at a moment’s notice. Mandy Sinker, a 29-year-old yoga teacher with a dog of her own, took a brief pause from elevating her sprained ankle to state, “It looked like ordinary black ice to me, but when I stepped gently on it, the ice cracked and I slipped on the dog shit underneath.”
A custodian at Woodhull also confirmed that he’s been seeing a lot more people coming in with minor injuries due to the slipping, as opposed to the usual garden variety mental health or drunken blackout-related issues. “But I tell you the drinkin’ ain’t helpin’ these folks eitha,” he concluded absently. Thus, until (if ever) the sun emerges again to melt away the frozen snow formations to reveal the massive piles of shit beneath them, The Burning Bush urges you to limit your exposure to the mean streets of Bushwick.
Written by Genna Rivieccio