In case anyone needed further proof of gentrification to believe that it’s happened, a recent survey of the name of internet networks in the Bushwick area has clinched this irrevocable fact. Among titles like “Interwebz?” and “waitwhat?,” the Bushwick Committee for the Sustainment of Gentrification also discovered gems like “Iggy Azalea’s Nipple,” “White Street in Da House” and “Salad Tossers Unite.”
Overwhelmingly, the common uniting factor of every internet network was that each white household was making the attempt to come across as “urban,” which always fails miserably, and therefore gives them away as whites. And if it’s not an “urban”-sounding name, they prefer to keep it utterly staid with titles such as “94BHN.” To confirm that these networks were, indeed, being paid for monthly by Caucasians, the Bushwick Committee for the Sustainment of Gentrification tested out their theory by going to East New York to attempt picking up a wi-fi signal in order to see what members of a non-white community were calling their networks, only to find none at all, proving, once again, that the internet is not a product of socialism, but rather, sheer elitism.
Written by Genna Rivieccio