Ghost of Humphrey Bogart Caught Canoodling With the Ghost of Maria Hernandez on Bogart Street

October 23, 2014 4 1437 News, Relationships

The supernatural steez continues to heat up this cold October in Bushwick with the sighting of Humphrey Bogart’s ghost on Bogart Street. Bogart has apparently been haunting the area ever since Lauren Bacall’s death earlier this year, hoping to set up residence with Bacall’s ghost on a street named after him. Bacall, however, has been averse to leaving the Upper West Side, prompting Bogart to have a little fun on the side with the more exotically flavored ghost of Maria Hernandez.

Bogart Street appeals to Bogart's vanity

Bogart Street appeals to Bogart’s vanity

The two spirits were first caught canoodling together near some trash cans at the corner of Bogart and Moore Street by a Roberta’s employee throwing up into the trash over the shame of working there, who briefly thought he was hallucinating after eating a slice of pot pizza. The employee commented, “Watching two ghosts make out is pretty gnarly, and not nearly as hot as I thought it would be. Maybe because they were old or something.”

Bacall to Bogart

Bacall to Bogart

With The Burning Bush putting Bogart’s love life on Bogart on blast like this, it’s likely Bacall will never come to Bushwick. She seems far too worldly for this scene anyway. But will things between Bogie and Hernandez really last, especially knowing how much Hernandez hates drugs and Bogie loves them? They say opposites attract, but this is some bona fide freaky deaky sex shit.

Written by Genna Rivieccio