Hannah Montana Porno Flick Pulled After Being Deemed “Not Risqué Enough”

February 12, 2015 1 1434 Art, Film
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As The Burning Bush previously reported, Hannah Montana a.k.a. Miley Cyrus was slated to make her pornographic debut at the 1st Annual Bushwick Porn Festival this year with a short film called Spank: The History of Hannah Montana’s Childhood. Unfortunately for Cyrus, the Bushwick Porn Committee re-reviewed the footage and found that it was lacking in an appropriate amount of risquéness

Still from Miley's tame porno

Still from Miley’s tame porno

The head of the committee, Michael Dilday, stated to The Burning Bush, “The truth is, a lot of us got drunk or stoned before we watched it in order to be able to actually watch it. Upon closer inspection, we realized there’s absolutely nothing pornographic about this film at all. In fact, it looks like a night out with mom and dad.” And as we all know, Bushwickians love hanging with their parents–but this draw just wasn’t going to be enough to cut it.

The most lurid scene from the film, which speaks to its sexual banality

The most lurid scene from the film, which speaks to its sexual banality

“I’d sooner deem Fifty Shades of Grey a porn than the fluff Miley sent over,” said another committee member, Sheldon Needzit, a 34-year-old former employee at the Pleasure Chest. “And I’d sooner get fluffed by Miley than watch any movie with her in it.” Hence, the collective consensus among all committee members was that the short was simply “not risqué enough.” Perhaps next year Cyrus will have her chance with another film she’s been working on entitled Ream: The History of Hannah Montana’s First Anal Experience

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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