Hellacious Times Scandalizes Brooklyn Bar World By Offering Straightforward Bingo With Non-Ironic Terrible Prizes

January 14, 2018 Comments Off on Hellacious Times Scandalizes Brooklyn Bar World By Offering Straightforward Bingo With Non-Ironic Terrible Prizes 265 Bars
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Apart from being known for cutting people off after roughly three drinks–regardless of potency–Hellacious Times has developed something of a following for its extremely straightforward bingo nights. And when we say “straightforward,” we mean that it’s not even making an attempt at appealing to gimmicky millennial sensibilities. The way, likesay, Videology in Williamsburg does with its “novelty” bingo boards.

At least Videology tries to dress it up

To add insult to injury, the prizes are even more banal than the non-dressed up game itself, with “one drink” (might as well have none for all the effect that’s going to have) and some token sunglasses plucked from some ninety-nine cent store on Knickerbocker offered as bounty. It took the winner of the latest game, Marcela Waterbury, a 26-year-old grad student attending SVA for How to Make Advertising Convincing to a Jaded as Fuck Nation, to call out Hellacious Times for the error of their ways.

Even asexual bingo would be a nice innovation considering the sexlessness of this generation

“I just think that, as a bar in Brooklyn, or something as close to Brooklyn as Ridgewood is, should have a little more panache in the games they choose to offer–force the entire bar to bear witness to. It’s such an intimate space, after all. We should all be exposed to something a little less vanilla. Even ‘asexual’ bingo would provide a more interesting angle,” commented Waterbury. And as the backlash persists, prompting potential loss of patrons, Hellacious Times might have to reconcile that a bar is only as good as the shticks it has to offer in this town.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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