In the wake of the Perrier campaign bombarding the Morgan stop, as well as the infiltration of Amanda Bynes and other celebrities into the neighborhood, it seems as though Bushwick is finally ready to re-embrace what was once deemed too Williamsburg for its taste.
After getting funds from Corporeal Punishment, a BDSM store in the West Village that was initially under the impression that a “meat” store entailed something else, Hops & Hocks has decided to amp up their bourgeois steez even more by only serving cheese that’s been imported from France that very day and meat that’s been freshly slaughtered within two days of arriving onsite.
Under the new management of Tamarind Sacrosanct, there will be many new initiatives. Sacrosanct informed The Burning Bush, “Basically, now that Bushwick has become more accepting of the bourgeois lifestyle it formerly tried to shun and ignore, we’re not going to be charging any less than twenty dollars per item. Payback’s a bitch, after all.” Foodies from far and wide (including Arthur Avenue types) have been queueing for hours to get a taste of Hops & Hocks’ custom charcuterie, dairy products and in-house brewed beer (featuring an ABV of 12%). With its newfound success, one has to wonder, is a mutton shop next door where sheep are shorn and killed before your very eyes far behind?
Written by Genna Rivieccio