Hops & Hocks Only Hires Lesbians or Men Who Look Like Lesbians

April 29, 2015 1 846 Local Business, News
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Have you ever noticed that, in addition the obscure, bougerific fare sold at Hops & Hocks that, unless your eyes have deceived you, there only seem to be lesbians working the register and meat chopping area?

The head meat cutter (not a butcher) at Hops & Hocks

The head meat cutter (not a butcher) at Hops & Hocks

It’s hard to say when this discriminatory hiring policy against straights first began, but jilted employee Mark Nawteffete, a 27-year-old who was summarily fired about a year ago when Hops & Hocks was briefly forced to shutter its doors, confided to The Burning Bush, “They didn’t get rid of me because they were closing. They got rid of me because I was straight, and looked too much like my gender.”

This is the only "man" working at Hops & Hocks at the moment

This is the only “man” working at Hops & Hocks at the moment

After sending a mole in to pretend to be a would-be customer, the mole was quickly ushered out because it was a literal mole. So while we can’t place complete faith in Nawteffete’s claims without further evidence, we have certainly noticed that the aesthetic at Hops & Hocks is decidedly lesbianic, even with regards to the two “men” we’ve seen working there. Maybe it has to do with the fact that straight people handle enough meat already, or perhaps there’s no such thing as straight people anymore–and maybe there never really was. Whatever the reason for Hops & Hocks’ hiring policies, we recommend heterosexual Bushwickians seeking employment attempt trying at Hog Heaven, another meat and beer-centric establishment, first.

Written by Genna Rivieccio, hated by lesbians, gays & everyone in between

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