Many of you are probably still stuck at the airport wondering if you’ll ever leave the evidently faux paradise that is a “cay.” But, as the large number of Bushwickians and East Williamsburgians who got caught in the proverbial rain found out, the only cay they wanted was a “K.”
Fortunately, here to help with the Fyre Festival Disaster Relief Fund is House of Maybe, which will do its best to re-create the experience Ja Rule claimed he wanted to have in Ridgewood by offering some musical acts (“yet to be disclosed”), as well as the usual offer for VIP members willing to spend the amount it takes on sitting in the bathtub as their source of a body of water.
To give the standard brand of Bushwick tongue-in-cheek irony to the affair, House of Maybe is also offering catering from the Taco Bell in Greenpoint and, for the highest bidder, you can get said cuisine served right to you on a tray from Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag–who are Fyre Festival attendees if ever one could be pigeonholed as such. Tickets for entry start at $1,500, and they’re already selling out fast for tonight. The funds procured will help fly out the remaining Bushwickians and East Williamsburgians on an airline that someone has actually heard of–though, these days, that doesn’t really bode well either.
Written by Genna Rivieccio