How Dead Is Your Phone? Because It Mirrors Your Own Personal Deadness.

July 3, 2014 Comments Off on How Dead Is Your Phone? Because It Mirrors Your Own Personal Deadness. 2351 Hipster Commentary, Technology
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In Bushwick, a dead phone means being socially dead as well. Being cut off from “the scene” and not knowing where the next open bar art opening is can make you an instant pariah. That’s why it’s key to keep your phone charger strapped to your body. But even this isn’t enough to ensure a fully charged phone at all times. 

Don't die

Don’t die

Enter a new startup, Moribund (located on Boerum Street in case you’re looking for a job), that’s here to make doubly certain you’re never out of the loop. Their unique charging system allows you to install a plug right on your body. Techni Drone, one of the company’s trained specialists, elaborated on this process to The Burning Bush. 

Moribund's installation process leaves you with a natural looking plug on your body

Moribund’s installation process leaves you with a natural looking plug on your body

“For the nominal fee of 1,500 dollars, we come right to your home and install the plug into the area of your choosing while you sleep. It’s kind of like an even more fucked up version of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” Once the plug is installed, it will remain there for a year, at which time it is designed to dissolve into your skin so that you’ll be forced to pay another 1,500 dollars for a new one. But it seems a small price to pay if you want to remain at the top of the social strata. Plus, it will make your bartenders like you better for not being a total twat and asking them to plug in your phone for you.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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