How Singles’ Day Was Celebrated in Bushwick

November 12, 2017 Comments Off on How Singles’ Day Was Celebrated in Bushwick 294 News

Singles’ Day, that evermore popular marketing scam in China that’s started to creep into the U.S., was celebrated in Bushwick yesterday with a typical brand of misguided irony and lack of understanding that only a Bushwickian could employ.

The age old question

Setting up the celebration in everyone’s favorite place to admire drag queens, the Knockdown Center, single twenty-somethings of Bushwick peppered the space with images of their favorite erstwhile spinsters in pop culture, from Carrie Bradshaw to Mary Tyler Moore (the limits of good taste were dispensed with when someone tacked up a poster of Hannah Horvath).

The go-to emblem of sad singledom

Further decorations by the head of the Committee to Celebrate Singles’ Day in Bushwick, Basique Beech, included the classic symbol of sad singledom, empty ice cream cartons scattered on the floor (with full ones available for purchase at the bar–in addition to an ice cream themed cocktail called the Frozen Embryo since, apparently, everyone is too young to remember that Tino already coined this term for his Catalano-backed band). So while DJ Sad Girl bumped numerous remixes of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” and Adele’s “Hello,” those early twenty-somethings failed to realize that about two years from now, they’ll be crawling into a hole to pretend Singles’ Day doesn’t exist as a way to accent their sologamous state.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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