“I Boofed a Girl and I Liked it”

September 21, 2014 2 5737 Bars, bushwick, Hipster Commentary, News

In case you haven’t heard, good ‘ol boofing is now (to the delight of many) officially Bushwick “IN.” While you can boof practically any intoxicating substance and get totally fucked up, the general consensus seems to favor the obvious, having cocaine blown up or inserted into their asses any chance they get. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen of B-Town. Forget those pesky nose bleeds and start having blood leak out of a less obvious orifice when you pay a visit to grandma and grandpa next weekend.

"Hey Colin, is everything okay?"

“Colin, is everything okay, honey?”

Best spot to get boofed at in Bushwick? Bushwick Daily voted Bossa Nova the place to literally get your asses “turnt the fuck up.” Betunia Anolloy, a Bushwick drunkorexic, says that she turned to boofing last month as a means of avoiding calories from consuming drugs or alcohol orally. “I try to only order bottled beers or ciders when I go out for the night. It makes it a lot easier to butt chug. I mean, with the way they’re shaped, it’s almost like they want you to do it that way. Have you seen those Bud Light Vortex bottles?”

Uhh, ribbed for her pleasure much?

Uhh, ribbed for her pleasure much?

Anolloy admits that even though laying on her back and ramming bottled brewskis up her asshole in public bathrooms is one of her greatest joys in life, cocaine will always be her first love and drug of choice. “Nothing beats the good stuff, although I usually need a partner to boof coke since I have yet to train my anus to snort lines. Luckily, that’s never really a problem, though.”

Betunia Annoloy, age 23.

Betunia Annoloy, age 23.

Taking drugs and alcohol the “normal” way is way too vanilla anyway, right? Bottoms up!

Written by Nicole Benson