Ill-Fitting Clothes Are the Number One Import to Bushwick

December 12, 2014 Comments Off on Ill-Fitting Clothes Are the Number One Import to Bushwick 1070 Fashion
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With the fashion scene in Bushwick being what it is, is it really any wonder that the number one import to Bushwick is ill-fitting clothes? Yes, that’s right. Rather than alcohol, craft beer, coffee or artisanal ingredients for Roberta’s pizza, it has been confirmed by the Bushwick Committee of Monitoring that ill-fitting clothes take the cake when it comes to the heftiest import into our sartorially liberal neighborhood.

Ova Syze, a repeat offender of wearing ill-fitting clothes

Ova Syze, a repeat offender of wearing ill-fitting clothes

The head of the Bushwick Committee of Monitoring, Yardley Beardsley, a 40-year-old from Manchester who claims not to be a Smiths fan, broke down the statistics of the committee’s findings to The Burning Bush by saying, “67% of all imports to Bushwick consisted of ill-fitting clothes. Alcohol came behind at 31%, while specialty sex toys came in at 2%. Overall, I would say that these statistics are not that varied from last year, though the 2% has shifted as, in 2013, it was divided into 1% specialty sex toys and 1% mirrors.”
A Bushwickian's dream closet

A Bushwickian’s dream closet

With the plethora of clothing stores in Bushwick, including Vice Versa, Mary Meyer, Beacon’s Closet, Lavemour and Urban Jungle, the need for ill-fitting clothes to stock said stores with is apparent. Sarto Rial, the organizer of Bushwick Fashion Weekend agreed, “If you’re looking for form-fitting clothes, go to Williamsburg.”

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

 

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