With Bushwick sluts being not only notoriously easy, but also notoriously lazy, it’s only natural that the New York Institute for Reproductive Health would appeal to the female population’s lackadaisical approach to safe sex with a PSA for the one benefit of getting an IUD: you never have to remember to take your birth control.
“When I saw the ad, I wasn’t really sure what an IUD was or what it stood for (I now know it’s an abbreviation for Icky Uterine Device), but I got curious and decided to inquire, and boy, am I glad I did! I just get fucked all the time now without worrying,” stated Sophie Legzoopen, a convert to this form of birth control.
Indeed, a surge in the number of Bushwickian females snapping up IUD insertions from their nearest gynecologist has been noted by local physician Dr. Deb Sexpromoter, a 45-year-old from Queens, who says, “Women are over the fear they once had of a ‘foreign object’ being shoved up their vagina. Now that they realize, if anything, foreign objects are at least a notch above some of the penises they allow in there, they’re more willing to accept its benefits. Just be careful that that scene where someone’s dick get’s caught in it in The Rules of Attraction doesn’t happen.” So why not make your sex life have even less consequences? Insert an IUD today!
Written by Genna Rivieccio