Jackson Heights Shows Signs of Desperation As It Tries to Poach Bushwickians Susceptible to L Train Scare Tactics

July 10, 2017 0 96 News
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The “next neighborhood” is always what New Yorkers and Bushwickians (two totally separate entities, of course) alike are looking for. But ever since the New Lots Avenue stop has been popping off, people are searching elsewhere–and especially since certain proposed alternatives to getting around during the L train shutdown of 2019 sound less than desirable.

Fake desperate times call for desperate measures

With this in mind, many a real estate company based out of Queens at large and Jackson Heights specifically has been trying to capitalize on the weaker, more susceptible types. Those who feed into the fear-mongering of the MTA, Bill de Blasio and Vladimir Putin. When one anonymous real estate was questioned about his tactics by The Burning Bush, he glibly replied, “We’re merely showcasing our inventory to already interested parties.”

Is it?

But would these so-called interested parties even be thinking about Jackson Heights if it wasn’t thrust in their face on the streets of Bushwick all the time? Surely, their contented enough with their own food (you know everyone’s always going on and on about the food in Jackson Heights) without being tantalized to another milieu. And just because of a looming threat that’s hardly even relevant as of yet. Even so, one pussy Bushwickian, Pristine Pussy, stated, “I’m rich or whatever, so I don’t even ride the train–but I do want my few middle class friends to be able to come visit me now and again so I can rub my wealth in their face, ya know? So yeah, I’m considering a move to Jackson Heights.” Thus, maybe these are the people who deserve to fall prey to this type of advertising.

Written by Genna Rivieccio 

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