Dear Burning Bush Readers,
We want to bring your attention to a rising problem in Bushwick: The inability of hipsters to afford what they need to be a hipster. With rent and cigarette price increases, times are becoming incredibly tough. We’re asking you to donate just two hundred dollars a day to give these hipsters the things they require to feel “fed.” Please watch our commercial below.
We hope that you’ll give careful consideration to this important issue within our local community and donate accordingly. All donations can be sent via PayPal to email@example.com or by mail (the esoteric hipster thing to do) at 664 Blackout Way, Brooklyn, New York 11211.