Just What Bushwickians Need: Another Sanction of Their Adult Babyness Via Late Night Milk and Cookie Delivery

October 26, 2017 0 159 News
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The Bushwickian population has long been given the “okay” for acting as perpetual adult babies, from the rompers they sport to the zombie-like fashion they walk in toward the train in the morning while recovering from a hangover. But now, they’ve been given even more of a green light with a new late night milk and cookies delivery service.

Staring into the abyssal spiral of perpetual childhood

That’s right, whether you’re high, sober or somewhere in between, Kooky, an establishment co-founded by two brothers, Orin and Ducky Dimmeson, 28 and 33 respectively, are making it possible to have your cookies and get them delivered, too. “We wanted to enable Bushwickians the luxury of being nurtured the way they were as kids, or I guess the way they nurtured Santa when they were kids,” commented Ducky.

Bushwickians, alas, are often too retarded/fucked up to keep their milk intact

During its short time in operation, Kooky has already crashed several times in internet and app form due to the high demand primarily concentrated in the Bushwick area. “We do operate in other parts of North Brooklyn, but hands down, the most sales are occurring in Bushwick, where the adult baby population is clearly the most robust,” concluded Orin. The delivery service has also spawned another brainchild of the Dimmesons, shatter-proof sippy cups with graffiti designs by local artists after all those reports of stoned or drunk denizens dropping their 50s-inspired milk bottles on the floor. So have you ordered your edible badge of anti-adult honor?

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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