The newly revamped, relocated Kings County Saloon has announced its next goth night, which is to take place on Saturday, August 30th at 11 p.m. Only this time, they’re taking it to the complete next level. If you’re not a total fucking pussy, then perhaps you are also sexy and cool enough to partake in the much anticipated festivities. The upcoming goth night holds promises of a lamb sacrificing ceremony, bringing back the classic delights of true goth-ism. In addition to the ceremony, Cradle of Filth has agreed to come all the way to Brooklyn to grace us with their notoriously nightmare-inducing, straight from the shallows of hell music.
As far as legal concerns go, Kings County Saloon has a permit pending with the city that will allow the goat slaying under the supervision of a trained professional. The unlucky goat in question is being generously donated by a farm owner from Upstate New York, who also happens to be the father of one of the burlesque dancers who will be performing next Saturday–because even being super goth doesn’t exempt you from daddy favors around here. The dancer, who works under the stage name Vaude LeRouge, will be performing suspended from the ceiling with hooks in her back, along with two others.
We spoke with Daveed Angelou, who is “super fucking stoked” for this event. “Oh, man! Yeah, I just can’t wait for this thing to happen! I’m especially pumped to see Cradle of Filth play. I went to a show once in 2003 and Dani Filth spat in my mouth! This is the first thing here in Bushwick that will truly cater to the goth community and it’s as magnificently abominable as we need it to be to feel at home here.” Angelou, who is someone you would have more specifically categorized as one of the “hyperactive-goth kids” in high school, began attempting to expose himself to show us his Prince Albert. We found that to be a good time to wrap things up.
Although the cover charge for the night is only $30, a nominal additional fee of $200 will allow you a half hour with a certified dominatrix in a private downstairs room. So come to Kings County Saloon next week on Saturday and slip into an abyss of satanic bliss. Bring your chips, dips, whips and chains, but more importantly, we ask that you be safe (if at all possible).
Written by Nicole Benson