L.A. Transplants Go Through Drastic Measures to Fit Into Bushwick

May 5, 2014 4 2222 Uncategorized
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While physical appearance may be top priority in the City of Angels, Bushwick likes their pieces of ass with a little bit of character. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that the fresh meat emerging in Bushwick from Los Angeles appears to be a little bit out of place. Desperately searching for an alternative to being well liked, these L.A. transplants are going under the knife yet again, only this time to reverse all of the very expensive work they have had done, in an effort to look less perfect.

Derelict Chic.

Derelict Chic.

Taking extreme measures to drab down their looks in order to fit in with the derelict aesthetic of Bushwick is probably not the worst idea ever considering the fact that anyone walking around looking like that is likely to be treated as a shit spewing monster with small pox. If you’re going around Bushwick looking way too much better than everyone else, people are going to take it as an insult. “Who does this asshole think he is? He’s obviously full of himself!” Even if you don’t vocalize the conspicuous contrast, your “too good for this place” look itself is going to offend everyone and you’re going to need to dial it down about seven notches. We spoke to Lacey Foxx, 21, a recent Bushwick resident from Los Angeles about her transitional struggles. “I’m being shunned in this neighborhood for the very opposite reason that I was shunned for when I had first moved to L.A. The only thing that makes sense to do is get my lip injections and breast implants removed and read a book so I have something to fall back on in case if people start to like, realize that I don’t have anything interesting to talk about. Faking a personality might even be harder than trying to pretend I’m still only like, twenty-one.”

The end goal.

The end goal.

While some are still trying to rise up, or say, steep down to their new surroundings, others are finding it too daunting of a task to even be worth trying. For example, Zac Brett tells us that he plans to buy a one way ticket back to L.A., never to return to Bushwick again. “I’ve been getting kicked out of bars for no reason and girls here don’t even want to sleep with me. Meanwhile they’re going home with some broke bastard with crooked teeth and unintentionally ripped pants. I’m out of here.” For those who do choose to stay, these extrinsic bodies must now learn to operate as a certain kind of anthropoid, mastering the art of achieving the perfect amount of imperfection just as those who migrated to Bushwick before them.

Written By Nicole Benson
Photo Credits: BushwickBK.com, Laceninja.tumblr.com

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