L-Mo’s Responds to Brooklyn’s Natural Rivalry By Abolishing How Much Cash You Can Take Out From ATM So As To Better Accommodate Your Drug Habit

November 30, 2014 1 1500 Local Business, News
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Just when you thought the rivalry between L-Mo’s and Brooklyn’s Natural was calming down after the latter abolished its ATM limit, L-Mo’s has stepped up its game by eradicating the limit on how much money you can take out from its machine. No one thought L-Mo’s–more off the beaten path than Brooklyn’s Natural–would actually respond to its rival’s attempt to undermine the integrity of their business, but, lo and behold, the competition has heated up faster than an egg sandwich on the grill.

Everyone knows Brooklyn's Natural has the market on the breakfast sandwich scene cornered

Everyone knows Brooklyn’s Natural has the market on the breakfast sandwich scene cornered

The idea to get rid of the limit on how much money you can take out came from Alonso Tocino, the preeminent breakfast sandwich maker at L-Mo’s. Tocino said, “I know how these Bushwick kids work. They all want quick cash–and lots of it–so they can buy their drugs. Now L-Mo’s can give those cabrones what they want.” An anonymous local drug dealer confirmed to The Burning Bush, “This is the best thing L-Mo’s has ever done for the Bushwick community. ‘Cause I fuckin’ hate it when these white kids complain about not being able to take out enough cash to pay me from the ATM.”

Take it all!

Take it all!

Yes, L-Mo’s has surely re-upped the competitive streak that momentarily appeared to have calmed. The Burning Bush attempted to reach an employee from Brooklyn’s Natural for comment on the latest development in L-Mo’s business model. but no one responded. Perhaps they’re all too busy installing a new ATM machine.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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