Since most Bushwickians struggle with possessing a conventional job, it’s only natural that a number of innovative entrepreneurs would crop up in the thick of this mass NYC competition for money. However, the latest entrepreneur to set herself apart is Shonda Hessler, a 24-year-old former Pratt student who dropped out when she realized, “I couldn’t pay for dat shit.” And so, with no way to put food on the table by conventional means, Hessler migrated to Bushwick, where all of the best scheming and dreaming is put into play.
The Burning Bush got Hessler to sit down long enough to stop hustling and explain how she came up with such a brilliant idea for making money. “It ain’t muhfuckin’ rocket science. People like to look slutty on Halloween, they drink, one thing leads to another, they bone without a condom. That’s where I come in to provide them with the supply they need.” Hessler, all too aware that someone else might have the same idea, hit up different drugstores throughout Bushwick every day for two weeks before Halloween, sending other of her worker “Bs” to buy it pending they could get a cut. With an army of Plan B buyers at her disposal, the skies of margins for profit were Hessler’s limit.
Sure enough, Hessler’s strategy landed her a goldmine of earnings the morning after Halloween as bedraggled women still wearing their costumes (though sometimes it’s hard to tell) staggered from drugstore to drugstore in desperate search of the magic pill. Hessler stationed her worker “B” buyers outside each one to offer the victims some of that sweet abortive goodness at an up-charged price. Looks like Hessler may be able to afford that two-bedroom in Coagulate, after all.
Written by Genna Rivieccio