We’ve all experienced the agonies of being out with a group of friends at a bar and a flock of them suddenly deciding that they want to leave abruptly. While you were getting wasted and everyone else was generally bored by the scene, they all closed their tabs behind your back, leaving you as the only asshole still left to have to deal with closing out. As you plunge your way through the hordes to get to the bar and reclaim your debit card, you suddenly reach a point where you can push through the masses no longer. You’ve come to a literal and metaphorical wall. Shoving will get you nowhere and nothing but a pile of vitriolic looks. Most people would just stand there complacently, waiting until the end of the night to get their card back. But that’s not what one courageous area woman, Lianna Brazenlush, did last night while attending the Bushwig after party at Bizarre.
According to Brazenlush, she waited about ten minutes before deciding to “get the fuck out of there and use [her] other credit card to keep the night going.” Rather than give in to the faux pressure of needing to get one’s card back, she relished in her true Americanism by relying on the fact that she was in possession of multiple credit cards. One of Brazenlush’s friends, Aria Lemming, expressed her admiration for Lianna’s fortitude by saying, “I could never do anything like that. I’d be too worried they’d keep charging my card or like give me a penalty for leaving it there. What Lianna did is truly incredible. And, because of her selflessness, we all got drunk at Bossa Nova instead and ended up taking molly on the dance floor. We couldn’t have had such an epic night without her bold decision.”
Even the bartenders at Bizarre were impressed by Brazenlush’s audaciousness, so much so that they’ve decided to put up a commemorative plaque in her honor. So next time you feel the peer pressure to leave a bar without having yet closed your tab, just take a page from Brazenlush’s book. Of course, The Burning Bush recommends that you apply for at least ten credit cards to sustain this devil-may-care lifestyle.
Written by Genna Rivieccio