Lone Wolf Voted Bushwick’s Greatest Hub of Misery

September 22, 2014 3 867 Bars, Local Business, News
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You’ve probably found yourself sitting by yourself at Lone Wolf at least once in your Bushwick life. It’s inevitable really, particularly if you live between the Kosciuszko and Myrtle-Broadway ether. There’s not really much else to choose from in this vicinity in the way of bars. Sure, you could go to Goodbye Blue Monday, but they don’t have hard liquor and their bathroom is less pleasant to fuck in.

The saddest place to drink

The saddest place to drink

So what do you do? Drag yourself into the dark recesses of Lone Wolf to soothe your aching lack of a soul with a hard, stiff drink. In a recent poll conducted by the Bushwick Committee for the Promotion of the Macabre, Bushwickians had a choice of choosing between Pumps, the tortilla factory near Grand Street where many after-parties are conducted, the former 3rd Ward, Wreck Room (when it existed), the McKibbin or Lone Wolf as the most depressing place to be. The unanimous decision came down to Lone Wolf at a robust 62%. 

The block near Lone Wolf turns black and white as you approach it to punctuate the impending existential crisis you'll have upon entering

The block near Lone Wolf turns black and white as you approach it to punctuate the impending existential crisis you’ll have upon entering

After the results came in, one of Lone Wolf’s bartenders, Dave Scorpio, proudly put up a sign to hang from the wolf awning that reads: “Proud to Serve You as Bushwick’s Greatest Hub of Misery.” Since then, business has increased tenfold as more lone wolves flock to the bar to embrace their sadness in solitude together. 

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

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