Mac DeMarco, that Canadian more beloved by hipsters than Drake, has decided to further prove that most of the best perks of Bushwick existence go to the unemployed people of the borough by throwing a barbeque for those locals able to attend today at 1:00 p.m. The purported motive behind the BBQ? “To play some new shit for people who will listen,” stated DeMarco.
Unfortunately, the barbeque was extremely short-lived as DeMarco has this tendency to bring women’s (and men’s) tops and tears to the floor with his soft, sensitive vocals, and now, his gourmet hot dog making skills–which ultimately resulted in an uncontrollable blaze that has spread from 153 Morgan Avenue to 231 Morgan Avenue and is currently being quelled by firemen.
“I don’t know what happened. One minute I was sobbing and swooning, and the next I became a burn victim,” rehashed Lara Groupay, a 24-year-old who isn’t sure what kind of career she wants to pursue. In total, five attendees were scorched by the fire (though each one praised the taste of the hot dogs that caused it) and ten were psychologically traumatized by being prematurely ripped from DeMarco’s proximity. Thus, celebrity barbeques may need to be banned for the remainder of the summer.
Written by Genna Rivieccio