If the signs of gentrification aren’t strong enough for you yet, perhaps the latest Bushwick news incident will serve to change your mind. A man driving down Knickerbocker Avenue near Dekalb Avenue in a green-tone Ford minivan was shot at by a former friend who recently chucked him for having “hideous” taste.
Johnny Blanc, a 26-year-old who plans to move into The Himrod Haven balked, “Yeah, I fuckin’ shot him. His car’s a piece of shit. How could I associate with someone like that?” The ex-friend he shot at, Mark Devereaux, was nicked in the cheek by the bullet as he drove by blasting “I Drive Myself Crazy” in an ironic fashion.
“I’m taking this opportunity to sue Blanc and use the money to buy a new car that’s gonna make him hella jealous,” stated Devereaux. Though, from the look of his face, one would have surmised he might enjoy using any money gained from a lawsuit for plastic surgery. In any case, it all foretells that it’s not who you are but what you have that makes you noteworthy in Bushwhack.
Written by Genna Rivieccio