Many People Sad, Angered That Actual Threesomes Don’t Take Place at The Threesome Tollboth

October 23, 2017 0 204 News
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There’s a new bar in town warranting write-ups in The New York Times (once upon a time, it was the now far less esoteric Sunrise/Sunset). That “bar,” if you can call it that, has a very limited capacity at just two plus the bartender, Stacey Ludblower, a 35-year-old man who has an obsession with intimacy and tight spaces that aren’t butt cracks.

Based on the price, many people assumed this would be a prepaid orgy

And yet, the name Threesome Tollbooth has suggested to many who have already contributed to the sellout of reservations at $100 to $120 per “session” that there would be more to the bar than merely “conversation.”

The discreet “entrance” also makes one feel that something illicit ought to “go down” in this bar

“I only made the reservation in the hope of spicing things up with my girlfriend. Things have gotten really stale ever since we moved into Amour Toujours, the monogamists only complex, and I just want to feel turned on by her again. I think another man could help me do that,” stated Jed Fedora, a 28-year-old with a political science degree from the University of Florida. “But I guess that’s out of the question at Threesome Tollbooth, which I really feel like I should sue once I get my law degree.” Fedora, not the only one to be misled, is just further proof that monogamy is too dull for this town, and maybe someone should open an actual threesome tollbooth.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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