While many are reconciling with the notion that summer is winding down and backyards are closing up, one group of local patrons getting soused at Mominette, achieved the first recorded collective orgasm after their waiter told them the backyard was still open.
Melora Clitora, a 32-year-old who was visiting her friend Beatrice Pubis, a 29-year-old offering up occasional porn appearances, one of which won her honorable mention for Best Munger at the First Annual Bushwick Porn Festival, didn’t think she’d get the chance to experience a Bushwick backyard this summer.
“For some reason, I thought they all closed around August 15th. I don’t really work so I’m not sure when exactly summer ends, but I’m told that after Labor Day is generally the rule now. When’s Labor Day again?” remarked Clitora. “In any case, my other Upper East Side friends and I just about died from the pleasure of the news.” We tried to contact Pubis for comment but she was still reaching her climax in the backyard during the interview. We would tell you to spread the word about most outdoor areas still being open at this time so as to avoid turning Bushwick into a full-fledged state of bacchanalia, but it’s already that way regardless.
Written by Genna Rivieccio