Merkin Shop, The Dark Forest, Opens Near Birchwood Forest

March 20, 2015 2 1161 Local Business, News
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If you’re not quite sure what a merkin is, you’re either not a former prostitute from the 1970s or you’re unaware that the whole Brazilian trend is now highly out of fashion (these days, men like to “discover” the labia as though it’s a prize in a cereal box). Either way, who better than The Burning Bush to tell you that a merkin is a wig for vaginas? Christ knows we’ve had to put one on our mascot a few times after she had to shave it off to get rid of her crabs.

Merkin on display at The Dark Forest

Merkin on display at The Dark Forest

That’s right, the plus size wig store that just opened now has some added competition–because beavers need beauty too. The Dark Forest, strategically opening next to Birchwood Forest in order to perpetuate the suburban feel of Bushwick, will be offering up a wide array of merkins in various hues to suit your coloring and desired length. Hilary Muff, the 28-year-old owner of the store, mused to The Burning Bush, “I’ve never been able to get my bush to grow back as lustrously as it used to after I started waxing. So that’s kind of what inspired the idea for starting this store. I’m sure a lot of other women want their bush hair to look full and healthy again.”

Even American Apparel mannequins are sporting merkins now

Even American Apparel mannequins are sporting merkins now

Yola Sadico, a waxist at Awesome Threading Salon on Cypress Avenue, confirmed, “Yes, it is true that once you wax for a long time, your hair do not grow back the same. It is coarser, less full. Not as appealing to man.” So if you’re one of the many Bushwick women (or gay men) missing the way your old pubis used to look, The Dark Forest is here to help, and is conveniently open from 8 p.m. to 12 a.m. every day.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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