Like some even more sinister version of Escape from New York mixed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a recent trend in the appearance of Bushwick apartments has seen a rise in the number of holes, or hellmouths, if you will, opening up in the ceilings of kitchens, bedrooms, bathrooms and every room in between. While the number of instances of hellmouths have so far remained under control (fourteen have been documented thus far), it’s likely that where one area of hellmouths have populated, another batch will crop up nearby.
The Burning Bush had the chance to speak with one of the first Bushwick residents to receive a hellmouth in her apartment, Cherie Slovenly, a 28-year-old who lives in an unspoken drug den with many lofted beds throughout the railroad style apartment. Slovenly reported, “I was making some mac and cheese in my kitchen one night when I heard a slight drip coming from above me. Though I was afraid to, I looked up and saw that a crack was about to burst at the seams. The next day it was a full-on hellmouth.”
While the vicinity in which the hellmouths have materialized have remained quarantined specifically off the Morgan and Dekalb stops (Jefferson is too posh for such things), there is a growing concern within the community that the spreading of the hellmouths will eventually spawn an entire population of doppelgangers to rise from the as of now dormant holes–creating the ultimate everyone is everyone quandary. If you see signs of a hellmouth forming in your apartment, call 311 immediately for assistance. However, it’s likely you’ll simply have to live with the gaping orifice until you move to a different neighborhood.
Written by Genna Rivieccio