In the aftermath of Desiree Akhavan’s Appropriate Behavior being filmed in and around Bushwick (specifically near Seigel and Bogart Streets), it’s only natural that many denizens would attempt to look their best not just physically, but also in a contrived pensive sort of way on the off chance that they happen to be an extra in the background of another movie.
“Bushwick is the new Hollywood,” said one L.A. transplant named Kent Pretense, a 20-year-old who has been taking improv classes at the PIT. “People thought it was going to stop at Girls, but Bushwick is undoubtedly the next hub for cinema as far as I’m concerned,” Pretense concluded. Another aspiring actor, Reggie Emptee, a student at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts (incidentally where Akhavan attended), stated, “I make it a point to look as affected as possible whenever I’m off the Morgan stop. That’s where the film crews are always waiting.”
Local actress Kimberly Despiser, a 28-year-old quickly passing her prime, had an opposing viewpoint to the ass-kissery of actors trying to make it big off Morgan. “I’d rather die in obscurity than try to pander to some Lena Dunham type who doesn’t know the first thing about real life in this neighborhood. The day you catch me posing or making fake expressions in the hope of being discovered is the day you can fucking crucify me.” In any case, The Burning Bush wishes all of its readers the best of luck with becoming an extra on what is quickly becoming known as the Bushwick backlot.
Written by Genna Rivieccio