MTA Announces Plans to Merge L and A Trains into “LA” Train

May 30, 2014 1 828 News
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If you’ve ever had to ride the L train between the hours of 8am and 8pm, you know it’s a boxcar for hipsters and transplants making their commute to some sort of freelance graphic design job. The backlog of bodies in spite of adding more frequent L trains has proven a real issue for the oh so competent MTA.

The LA Train will likely look like the inside of a party bus

The LA Train will likely look like the inside of a party bus

To remedy the situation, MTA Commissioner Felicia Mongo has announced the MTA’s plans to merge the L and A lines, which already meet at 8th Avenue, in order to accommodate more of these pesky whitefolk trying to get to their overpaying companies in MIdtown. There’s no telling what this will mean for A train commuters, who will essentially have their train usurped by the L. Although the LA train will still make A train stops during off-peak hours, this is certain to cause an outrage throughout Manhattan.

No more waiting

No more waiting

And then, of course, there’s the irony of the train’s new name to consider. While Europeans make up the bulk of the people infiltrating Bushwick, it’s also the L.A. transplants causing their fair share of invasive damage. This train is really for them (’cause Christ knows the Europeans ain’t commuting anyplace with the word “work” or “business” in it). So they better enjoy it and stop complaining about missing the convenience of driving. The L and A lines are slated to merge into one behemoth of a train at the end of the summer.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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