New Book Called Rich Kids of Bushwick Attempts to Evoke a Fitzgeraldian Tone

July 25, 2014 6 2008 Uncategorized

If you thought the novelization of Rich Kids of Instagram was bad, wait until you read previously unknown author Jerry Tool’s novelization of the posh life in Bwick, called Rich Kids of Bushwick. Tool, who infiltrated the Bushdicks scene for over a year, discovered insider intelligence that no one on the outside has ever had access to. For instance, we finally find out the perpetrator of the “My Parents Give Me Money” tag that’s written on most walls throughout the Morgan/Jefferson stop vicinity.

Members of the Bushdicks don't travel by subway, they travel by private plane

Members of the Bushdicks don’t travel by subway, they travel by private plane

The main characters, whose names have not been adjusted to conceal their true identities (Tool claimed it would detract from the authenticity of the novel), include Percy Cassel, Pristine Pussy, Yamanda Decadent and Spencer Dilday. While Tool attempts to conjure similar images to The Great Gatsby and The Beautiful and The Damned, sentences like, “Spencer was tryna fuck Pristine, but she wasn’t havin’ it. Percy was da one wit da bigger trust fund” make it difficult to draw comparisons. The book is being sold at local peddlers like Kings County, Beacon’s Closet and Altered Imagez. Pick up your copy for a mere $60 (self-publishing requires at least breaking even, after all) and enjoy this 21-page tome detailing the good life in Bushwick.

Written by Genna Rivieccio