In a new study conducted by the Bushwick Committee of Separatists, it has been determined that not all Bushwickians are created equal. In a round of sociological experiments conducted on L and M train commuters, it was found that, by and large, those who ride the L train are far richer and more uptight than M train riders.
Because the majority of L train riders must commute to the city at a semi-reasonable hour (around 10) and require the expedient speed of the L train pace, the Bushwick Committee of Separatists therefore gleaned that M train riders, who willingly subject themselves to the glacial stride of the M (it often feels like someone is running behind it and blowing on it to make it move) must have absolutely nowhere worth being on time, hence the committee’s assumption that they work thankless jobs in retail.
Among one of the sociological experiments conducted to determine some of the primary differences between L and M train riders was sending the youngest committee member, Daelan Traytor, a 25-year-old black man, on both trains to panhandle using a variety of sob stories. L train riders were consistently more receptive, willing to donate as much as ten dollars to Traytor’s anti-homeless fund, whereas M train riders were unmoved to empty their pockets. Hence, the Bushwick Committee of Separatists has surmised that the average income of M train riders is far lower than those of L train riders, yet again proving that the train you ride is the person you are.
Written by Genna Rivieccio