New Study Shows Bushwick Residents Aren’t Thankful For Shit

November 27, 2014 Comments Off on New Study Shows Bushwick Residents Aren’t Thankful For Shit 500 bushwick, Food, Hipster Commentary, News, Uncategorized
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Whether you plan on attending Trent Orfin’s annual substitute-Thanksgiving feast or worse, heading home to relive an insufferable rerun from Thanksgiving past, it is more likely than not that you’ve entirely lost sight of what the upcoming holiday intends to represent.

"Hmmmm..."

“Hmmmm…” -Mark Galvin, 27

Through our recent poll in which we asked people of Bushwick what they were thankful for this holiday season, not only did the majority fail to provide any legitimate answers, but they also didn’t seem to understand the correlation between thankfulness and Thanksgiving. We asked Mark Galvin, a 27-year-old Bushwick resident, what he was thankful for this holiday season and were subsequently met with a puzzled expression illuminating from Galvin’s face. Galvin, whose breakfast is prepared for him daily by his loyal and dutiful girlfriend and continues to have most of his bills paid for by his parents despite landing a job in which he earns a six figure income straight out of college, racked his brain for several minutes before saying, “hmm, nothing comes to mind. You know, I’m really into that new Mercedes that just came out. If I could manage to get my hands on one of those, I guess I’d be pretty thankful for that.” No you wouldn’t, Mark. No you would not.

As you jam an inexcusable amounts of mashed potatoes and gravy down your gullet this Thanksgiving holiday, picture this.

As you jam an inexcusable amount of mashed potatoes and gravy down your gullet this Thanksgiving holiday, picture this.

A few minutes into our exchange with Mark, he finally asked us, “I’m not sure that I really understand why you’re asking me about thankfulness, what does that have to do with anything?” Can we really blame Mark Galvin for being so god-awfully oblivious? Nobody in this neighborhood even knows what a fucking turkey looks like anymore.

Written by Nicole Benson

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