With establishments like the Met and MoMa banning selfie sticks in order to preserve some final semblance of dignity for New York, one of Bushwick’s own hubs of attracting tourism, New York Loft Hostel, has decided to do the same. The reaction? Utter rebellion on the part of the foreigners that once relished the neighborhood as their playground.
The manager at the facility, Morton Incite, a 33-year-old who also consults at La Bouche, explained the reasoning behind this new policy. “Things were getting out of control. By checking every guest’s bags to ensure they do not have a selfie stick, we’re limiting not only the amount of inappropriate sexual photos that get taken here, but also keeping the streets of Bushwick from looking like a goddamn mongo parade.”
While some (few) have tried to honor New York Loft Hostel’s new regime, a lot of regular guests are having difficulty going back to the analog method of taking selfies. Hairy Cherry, a 35-year-old performance artist who often stays at the “hotel” when she visits from Baltimore, bemoaned, “I can’t fully capture myself and my surroundings without a selfie stick. I’m not really sure if this is the right place for me to be staying anymore. I think I might stay in that hotel by Woodhull from now on.” In spite of plummeting reservations over the selfie stick ban, Incite is refusing to back down. “I would rather watch this place shut down than allow the narcissism to run rampant.”
Written by Genna Rivieccio