If you’re scratching your head as to how a Bushwickian could possibly create anything technical, rest assured that this particular one is an émigré from Sweden who has devised a new system for receiving news on your phone.
“Rather than using an algorithm like transparent social media outlets such as Facebook, I have taken away this function from how people receive their news,” explained Bjorn Abba, a 35-year-old who left Sweden after a fallout with an unnamed political official. “I understand that news is more effective when you actually want to receive it. Otherwise, why would you bother reading it?”
Unfortunately, Abba seems to be underestimating that a very small faction of people in New York–and Bushwick in particular–have any interest whatsoever in the goings-on outside of their own microcosm. “I usually just read VICE,” said Marlon Mong, a bartender who was in attendance at the presentation of the app. When those present at Abba’s summit at the Northside Festival (which enticed locals with free alcohol and hors d’oeuvres) were asked to test out the “product” for themselves, many were unable to determine what news to follow if it wasn’t decided for them. This unaccounted for failure has sent Abba packing for a permanent return to Scandinavia, where it may be cold, but at least people are capable of forming opinions of their own.
Written by Genna Rivieccio