Number One New Year’s Resolution in Bushwick: Be Less White

December 29, 2014 Comments Off on Number One New Year’s Resolution in Bushwick: Be Less White 560 Hipster Commentary, News
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It’s been an embarrassing year for white people in Bushwick. Between getting sucked into black holes in the McKibbin and being robbed of laptops at cafes (a white person’s favorite place to graze), there’s been quite a bit of backlash against the stereotype of just how vanilla a Caucasian can be.

Attempts to be less white are already being made throughout the neighborhood

Attempts to be less white are already being made throughout the neighborhood

The first person to take the important step toward admitting the need for this resolution in Buswick was 29-year-old Hollis Blanchocolat, a member of the mostly all-white Bushwick Committee for the Encouragement of a Minority Presence in Bushwick. Blanchocolat noted, “It was like, one day, I looked up and saw that everyone around me was white. I didn’t really grasp how out of touch I was with the true pulse of Bushwick until stepping outside of my own whiteness for a moment.”

White people guide to gang signs

White people guide to gang signs

As soon as Blanchocolat pointed this out to other people on the committee, the epiphany went viral. And, since we all know being white has not been chic since the mid-90s, it’s about time that Bushwick, regardless of its “millennial” population, join the rest of the world in being just a little bit less paste-like. However one chooses to do that is entirely at one’s discretion and will undoubtedly result in more offense-causing and humiliation in 2015.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

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