Papa John’s Buys Out Roberta’s

June 21, 2014 5 1622 Local Business, News, Pizza

We never thought we’d see the day when Roberta’s would fully sell its soul to the man. But apparently, Papa John’s has made them an offer they couldn’t refuse. The multi-million dollar pizza powerhouse apparently offered the most recent Roberta’s owner, Michael Salsiccia, a reported twenty million dollars in order to absorb the secrets of this beloved Bushwick haunt into it’s Kentucky-based body.

Roberta's is going to start tasting a lot like Papa John's

Roberta’s is going to start tasting a lot like Papa John’s

The CEO of Papa John’s, Louis Corporatehead, had never even heard of Roberta’s until his daughter, Ethel Mae, moved to Bushwick after dropping out of Parsons. Ethel Mae reportedly told her dad that “the pizza tastes real fancy. I think they put special pepperoni on it.” Intrigued, Corportehead took a trip to New York and stayed at La Bouche, the boutique within a boutique hotel that opened early especially to accommodate his needs. Although he was disgusted by the location of Roberta’s, which he told The Burning Bush, looks “like a bombed out concentration camp,” he could see the potential in fusing the styles of Papa John’s and Roberta’s together.

Roberta's pizza boxes primed and ready to adopt the Papa John's business model

Roberta’s pizza boxes primed and ready to adopt the Papa John’s business model

Corporatehead noted, “Roberta’s is missing the mass level of appeal that Papa John’s has and Papa John’s is missing the quality that Roberta’s has. If I can somehow combine each of those ‘missing ingredients,’ this could be one of the most successful pizza ventures of all time.” For now, Corporatehead has compromised on the new name of Roberta’s by agreeing to call their Moore Street outpost Mama Roberta’s.

Written by Genna Rivieccio