Nicandra’s is the exact sort of place one can expect from Italian food in Bushwick: not really quite Italian and somehow never involving anyone who is actually from Italy. Nonetheless, it’s become a popular spot with its air of exclusivity, in that making a reservation is recommended mainly because of how small the space is.
One diner, Tom Kaleido, a 32-year-old who has been in the neighborhood long enough to remember when a bar like Fine Time would never be opened, was unaware of just what close quarters Nicandra’s would offer, nor what ominous decor. Which is why it was probably a bad idea for his girlfriend to drag him to the restaurant while he was still coming back from his acid trip.
“I take acid at least once a month to help me with inspiration from my art. It later occurred to me that whoever designed that pizza cutter thing probably got the idea from acid, too. Anyway, my girlfriend thought I was coherent enough–but also incoherent enough–to take her to a romantic dinner. Fucking romance in Bushwick, the most oxymoronic statement you can make. That’s why I’m helping with the set design for Bushwick, I Kind of Fucking Hate You. Whatever, the point is, I wasn’t done taking my trip and I swear to Christ the pizza cutter came alive, jumped off the canvas and started hacking at my face while I was trying to enjoy some weird appetizer they gave us that was basically a cup of heavy whipping cream. When my girlfriend finally talked me down, it was too late, I had thrown my scant pasta portion everywhere. And, high as I was, I knew not to pay for an expensive dish twice.”
Written by Genna Rivieccio