With Wild Oleander’s armpit hair braiding service losing a little bit of steam in spite of winter being prime time for growth in that area, the salon has decided to up the ante by cashing in on one of the latest gross-out nail art trends (no, not the tampon one).
That’s right, if you’re the type of person who delights in popping pimples, then Wild Oleander’s new nail art service will literally make you splooge like pus out of a blemish. The lead nail tech behind the art, Lora Blotch, a 32-year-old from New Jersey who still suffers from acne, explained, “We wanted to offer the Exploding Pimple manicure as a token of our empathy for any woman who has ever suffered from the low self-esteem inducing nature of acne. Or just getting a mildly inconvenient pimple.”
While the expense of the manicure (not as of yet available in pedicure form) is a bit steep at $115, it’s absolutely essential that you also splurge for the pus effect (created with hand cream, not semen in case you were wondering). That’ll set you back an additional $50. But it will all be worth it when you caress the back of your hand against some unsuspecting fuckboy (being that men can’t see, only feel–physical sensations, not emotions).
Written by Genna Rivieccio