Pussy Galore: Celebration of Cats at Silent Barn Results in Mass Outbreak of Worms

May 26, 2015 1 429 News
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Because people love cats in spite of their satanic slit eyes, what has been billed as Pussy Galore Day was celebrated once again this past weekend at Silent Barn. The event, which plays host to a number of cat-themed “artists” and activities, turned macabre quickly, however, after a number felines from the Cat-atonic Adoption Agency were discovered to have worms.

One of the many evil cats harboring worms at Pussy Galore

One of the many evil cats harboring worms at Pussy Galore

The outbreak progressed quickly, with many Bushwickians in attendance bearing the brunt of the worm infiltration in their most vital organ: the liver. One attendee, Mandy Fang, a 24-year-old who has a tattoo of the Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp, moaned, “I hate cats now. Never again will I look at them as though they are one of God’s creatures. Fang was just one of many rushed to the nearest medical facility, a veterinary clinic called Bite Me.

This cat got busted for his crimes against humans

This cat got busted for his crimes against humans

“When all was said and done, twenty-two people were infected,” admitted Pussy Galore’s chairwoman, Kitty Pawson, a 45-year-old who crochets in her spare time. “It’s heartbreaking to me that so many locals are going to hate pussy now. Pussy should be loved regardless of flaws,” she concluded serenely. No word on whether or not the annual gathering of feline enthusiasts will go forward next year based on these catastrophic results. Perhaps it might be swapped out for a vagina appreciation fair instead.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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