Research Shows Lobsters Living in Tank at Food Bazaar Are Most Miserable on Eastern Seaboard

March 29, 2015 1 1204 Food, News
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With the grocery store scene in Bushwick being a destitute wasteland in the wake of City Fresh mysteriously closing, C-Town shame-causing and the overpricedness of L-Mo’s and Brooklyn’s Natural, sometimes the only option in this area seems to be (shudder) Food Bazaar.

Food Bazaar: Hell on earth

Food Bazaar: Hell on earth

In addition to everyone looking at you like you don’t belong there, the stank of fish pervading the entire store and the majority of the product pool consisting of various fruit juices, Food Bazaar is a struggle to endure because you always have to pass by the saddest sight in Bushwick: the lobster tank. Over-filled with oversized lobsters that look as though they’ve been trapped in there for years, each one seems to stare at you internally screaming, “Help me!” (though who isn’t screaming that most of the time in New York?).

The saddest, most fluorescently lit lobsters in town

The saddest, most fluorescently lit lobsters in town

The fact that they’re being “bargain-priced” in order to move the “merchandise” faster probably isn’t helping their mental state either. One lobster, who wanted to remain as anonymous as he is in the tank, told The Burning Bush, “Most days, I want to gouge my own eyes out with my claws. Others, I want to pinch everyone else in this watery hell to death.” As you can tell, morale is extremely low. So if you have any heart left whatsoever after living in Bushwick for so long, buy one of the lobsters so that you can set them free.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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