In every neighborhood of New York, there exists a Dorian Gray. The Burning Bush got a chance to talk to our very own, who requested anonymity and would like it to be known that, “I chose to answer these questions after some drinks.”
The Burning Bush: How did you come to migrate from Long Island to Bushwick?
Dorian Gray: It wasn’t a migration, I’ve been coming to the city on my own since I was 13. My mother used to call the cops on me to escort me back home, that was the beginning of my sketchiness then, if you can duck a cop, you can duck anyone. But to answer your question, I hate Bushwick, I hate Brooklyn, I hate New York, but I love it so much, and it’s the only love that can’t leave me so I stick around. Yeah, music scene too, but I’m over that and I’ll get to that in your last question.
The Burning Bush: What’s your drug of choice?
Dorian Gray: It’s hard to say, I was always partial to cocaine, then crack, but I think that was David Bowie’s input more than Pete Doherty’s, and it just became a habit. I love opiates, I have a hard time sleeping, or relaxing, and that helps, but I’m allergic to half of the opiates that exist. Crack, yeah I loved crack, but I won’t do that anymore because I like to pretend I’m a functioning member of society. My values are very old school. Italian-American bullshit where you have to be a man, so if you’re angry that’s okay as long as you kiss a cheek at the end of the night.
The Burning Bush: How do you stay looking exactly the same in spite of your drug/alcohol intake?
Dorian Gray: I have good genes, I don’t have a baby face, but I’ve always had this overwhelming guilt for being healthy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been bloated and shitty looking at times, but yeah my parents are good stock, and I inherited that, my mom looks 30 and my dad looks 35. I actually appreciate you noticing that, I don’t look old, no matter what wear and tear I put on myself. Honestly though, I look best when I regulate my intake, nobody likes a bloated, red-faced fool.
The Burning Bush: Is there any meaning to life beyond partying and good times? This is a very La Dolce Vita question, but you vaguely remind me of Marello Mastroianni.
Dorian Gray: I wish I could find a life beyond partying, anytime I meet anyone worth being interested in, I abstain from using. I had to look up Marcello and I am flattered, Sophia Loren works for me. I don’t want to be a caricature. I’m far from stupid, but I’m stupid when it comes to control. I wan’t to settle down and live a simple life. I won’t ever have that though. I’m too nice with too much responsibility, so that pushes me to escape at times. Maybe I will have that, but not in this fucking town.
The Burning Bush: What song has the most significance to you, in terms of conjuring drug memories?
Dorian Gray: “Station to Station.” Scary coke song while doing drugs in my car in Long Island.
The Burning Bush: Would you ever leave Bushwick in favor of a simple, drug-diminished life?
Dorian Gray: I plan on it after this year. Moving Upstate. I write great music, and thought I needed to be in Brooklyn to make music. Fuck that, Brooklyn is over-saturated with shitty noise bullshit. Jeezus fucking Christ I sound like I belong here. Yeah I’ll move Upstate, you’re all invited, but quit hard drugs when you’re 25. We started young and hate that we do it. The only reason why it doesn’t look bad with me, I’m a great actor.
Compiled by Genna Rivieccio, another Bushwick cautionary tale