Resurgence in Meth Use Briefly Quelled By Impending Arrival of Walter’s Coffee

April 18, 2016 Comments Off on Resurgence in Meth Use Briefly Quelled By Impending Arrival of Walter’s Coffee 351 Local Business, News
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After, strangely enough, massive success in Istanbul, Walter’s Coffee is coming not only to Williamsburg, but also its twin neighborhood, Bushwick. News of its arrival on Irving Avenue has left many once fond of meth-taking suddenly disinterested in the sport.

Bushwickians are ready for social meth-taking, only to be disappointed by Walter's

Bushwickians are ready for social meth-taking, only to be disappointed by Walter’s

“I threw out all my equipment ’cause now there’s like a communal place for me to do it,” excitedly stated Jed Fromohio, a crooked toothed server at Okinawa. Jed (among other meth heads), however, was horrified to be informed that the giant “meth machine” they saw in the window is merely for coffee making purposes.

It's just for coffee

It’s just for coffee

“It’s just for coffee? What the fuck man? I sold all my bent spoons, cough syrup and ibuprofen to a homeless woman near Woodhull. What am I supposed to do now? Buy it back from her?” commented Lidia Hurtsobad, a meth head who gets a lot of play for being one of the few female options in the community. On the plus side, thanks to all this meth head outrage, Walter’s has decided to put a disclaimer underneath its sign that reads: “Meth not made or served here.”

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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