Revelation: Girls Who Sing Alanis At Karaoke Least Likely to Get Laid

November 17, 2016 Comments Off on Revelation: Girls Who Sing Alanis At Karaoke Least Likely to Get Laid 330 News
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Karaoke is a serious business in this town–primarily because it’s one of the few places in New York that so heavily favors the level of drunkenness required to showcase one’s bad singing. That being said, a lot of girls of a, ahem, millennial demographic make the mistake of expressing themselves through Alanis Morissette.

Women tend to get "emotional" when singing Alanis

Women tend to get “emotional” when singing Alanis

“I don’t know what compelled me to choose ‘You Oughta Know’ last night. It’s just like, my drunk self had all this pent up aggression toward my ex that she wanted me to sing Alanis. Needless to say, a lot of guys left the room while I was delivering what I thought was an incredible performance,” stated Geena Hartpourer, a 31-year-old who will soon reach her expiration date on being able to go to karaoke.

Don't lose control of yourself with Alanis

Don’t lose control of yourself with Alanis

But Hartpourer isn’t the only woman who has fallen prey to Alanis and had it cost her a one-night stand. “I even tried doing something more playful and less known, like ‘Precious Illusions,’ but the men could still sniff the feminism on me,” commented Lara Bonista, a 28-year-old who teaches private zither lessons for a living. So what’s the lesson ladies? Don’t sing Alanis if you want to get some dick while drunk.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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