While everyone knows that the only true news source for anything and everything Bushwick-related is The Burning Bush, it can’t be denied that Ridgewood Times has been experiencing an elevated appreciation of late, especially in the wake of the continued loss of staff at Bushwick Bugle.
With it’s exotic-seeming geographical declaration and “old timey” font, there’s just something about Ridgewood Times that seems less like fake news than other available outlets (again, basically just Bushwick Bugle).
As the editor-in-chief, Maruca Dendodo, a 28-year-old who was raised by multiple moms since people are mostly realizing that men are superfluous, told The Burning Bush, “We have noticed increased circulation, and we think it’s because we go even more hyper-local than Bushwick Bugle. One of the last articles we printed was ‘Martin Greely Angers Neighbor on Himrod by Playing Synth Machine Too Loudly For His Shitty Electropop Band Practice.’ That, and well, we’re always a slim edition. Easy reading. Not too much effort.” And since those key phrases are exactly what’s required to get anyone reading, Ridgewood Times might just usurp The Burning Bush as well.
Written by Genna Rivieccio