Riding on the Millennial-Centric Slogan “Commit to Something,” Equinox Comes to Morgan Avenue

February 10, 2017 Comments Off on Riding on the Millennial-Centric Slogan “Commit to Something,” Equinox Comes to Morgan Avenue 408 FItness
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If anyone has their marketing slogan on lockdown this year, it’s Equinox, a fitness emporium that has chosen to join the ever-amassing amount of gyms to hit the streets of Bushwick as the residents become increasingly vain.

Come on, you non-committal fuck, commit to something

Not just a tag line that throws shade at the standard criticism of the current generation–which is that it can’t engage in any form of monogamy whatsoever–Equinox’s urging to “Commit to Something” is as though to say: “come on you lackadaisical, non-committal fuck, if you can’t keep a job or a significant other, at least stay devoted to a gym.”

Stop taking a shit on commitment

The head of marketing for the North Brooklyn office, Brock Bombo, a 34-year-old with a major in business and a minor in finance from Harvard (so easy to get into these days), stated, “We’ve found that this sort of tone of condescension is highly effective in garnering new memberships. Just as in love, people want to be treated like shit if you’re going to expect them to stick around for more.” So look out Crunch and Blink, there’s a new chain in town.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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