Roberta’s Thus Far Only Business Willing to Carry “Keep Calm and Gentrify Brooklyn” Shirt

September 9, 2017 Comments Off on Roberta’s Thus Far Only Business Willing to Carry “Keep Calm and Gentrify Brooklyn” Shirt 314 Fashion
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The endless ways in which sacrilege and decimation can manifest in the area that is North Brooklyn has reached a new peak with the creation of a tank top bearing a cupcake graphic and the insistence to “Keep Calm and Gentrify Brooklyn” (as though it possibly could be any further–then again, one oughtn’t speak too soon).

The latest desecration

While “millennials” get no stronger orgasm than from the employment of irreverent irony, this manifestation really goes beyond taking the (cup)cake. That’s precisely why the neighborhood’s number one and original whore, Roberta’s, is planning on being the only establishment thus far to agree to purvey the shirt.

Roberta’s is no stranger to whoring out merchandise, like this collab with Mishka

The shirt’s designer, Marion Commodifier, a 24-year-old from Lake Placid who went to boarding school with Lizzy Grant, explained her inspiration for the shirt. “Well, you know, white people are always made to feel so guilty and panicked about how their presence is affecting certain neighborhoods, and I just wanted to make them feel better–give them a positive mantra to encourage them to believe in their place in the North Brooklyn world. And yeah, South Brooklyn, here we come.” The design, available in both tank top and t-shirt form retails for $115 at your favorite corporate Bushwick enterprise.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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