The responsibility of being a roommate is the sort of thing that can never be hashed out in a lease agreement. Particularly between two female roommates. From holding her hair while she yaks to risking the loss of your favorite top when she borrows it to go troll and possibly leave it at some rando’s house, the duties of a roommate are vast.
But last night, at a small shoebox apartment in the Tea Factory Lofts, one roommate, Amanda Sacrifyce, a 25-year-old who works at Beacon’s Closet, felt that her sharer of rent, Lana Impetchyoous, a 26-year-old who has aspirations as a mixed media collage artist, went too far in terms of the responsibilities she expected Amanda to carry out in that it was her decision to throw an impromptu “End of the Weekend” Party, yet it was also her decision to get too wasted before the party even began in order to make it past the first ten minutes of its initiation.
“All of the sudden it was, like, my fucking job to host this party that I didn’t even want to have. I just wanted to watch that new Netflix show Flaked with Will Arnett all day. But no, fucking Lana has to heave this huge fucking task of entertaining her friends. I don’t even like her friends. They all work in advertising,” complained Sacrifyce. And so, by the end of the evening, Amanda was holding Lana’s hair back just like she always does. But it’s only a matter of time before she cuts it off instead–the way Bernice does to Marjorie in “Bernice Bobs Her Hair.”
Written by Genna Rivieccio