With Pine Box at all time highs of bro-ness, the proprietors of the establishment, Mindy Morbid and Jesse Jejune, have decided to expand their business all the way to the far reaches of the Jefferson stop. Satin Coffin, as the small, cobweb and candle decor-filled bar will be called, is the solution to a return to the Pine Box of yore.
“I remember when the only type of people you’d see come into the Pine Box were weirdos and old men. Now it’s just frat boys and ‘experimental’ college girls as far as the eye can see. Satin Coffin is intended as an homage to the original clientele of the Pine Box,” stated Morbid as she pulled a pint for herself and chugged it in one swallow.
Although the average resident off the Jefferson stop tends to be, shall we say, somewhat “she-she,” Morbid and Jejune are banking on the “bizarros” living at Castle Braid to bring the strange. “They may have more money than God to be able to afford to live in those apartments. But they’re eccentric, and that’s the kind of patronage we want,” Jejune added. Satin Coffin is expected to open at the end of May, with a Corpse Cookout to take place over Memorial Day Weekend in order to have a proper inauguration into what some people call Jefftown and others, simply, don’t.
Written by Genna Rivieccio