Secret Eyes Wide Shut Parties Happening Throughout Bushwick

August 8, 2014 3 2014 Uncategorized

Bushwick’s propensity for sexual deviation has taken a new turn in the past few weeks, as telltale signs of secret Eyes Wide Shut-themed parties have been running rampant. In addition to spotting Mardi Gras type masks on the ground throughout the streets of Bushwick, The Burning Bush has also received reports from anonymous sources that there has been increased lurking/stalking activity in an effort to “purge” anyone revealing too much about what goes on at these parties.

An ominous clue from one of the parties

An ominous clue from one of the parties

We’re even risking our own lives just by talking about the potential location where one of these erotic/religious sacrifice orgies went down. Although the party is constantly moving, The Burning Bush can confirm that at least on one occasion, it took place at Delinquency near Pumps. Upon talking to the booker at the venue, Norman Callow, who would only tell us, “There’s something sinister about this group,” we know that the event generally takes place on a Monday (for added “too chic for the weekend factor”). We recommend you tread lightly upon accidentally walking into one of these events Tom Cruise style, lest you want a bounty on your head for your sexual curiosity. 

Written by Genna Rivieccio